Venom
by ap0p-hiss
Summary: Every great story tends to start with a snake, this one is no different. Slash
1. Tall Grass

**::**

 **Chapter one: Tall Grass**

 **::**

Orochimaru was not a wise man.

He never pretended to and never intended to be one, he found it too synonymous with the old decrepit men with hunched backs and crooked teeth that would leer at him as a genin. The ones who told him he would never amount to much of anything, that he was a waste just like his clan. The men like his teacher, the men like Jiraiya.

The men who died.

Orochimaru would never be like that, he had worked too hard and done too much to give up on who he was for something so mundane. He would not be touched by the cold hands of death, he would avoid it with the stubbornness that he never quite grew out of.

Instead of a wise man Orochimaru was a smart one, he was a man who knew everything. He did not pretend to think he was right or just, he simply knew the secrets whispered behind hands into the ears of the few and many. He was smart and cruel, he had a long list of grievances, of sins and wrongdoings that he cared very little for. Nevertheless, he did not bother to hide behind any guise. He simply was and this was always enough for him.

Until the world, as he knew it ended.

That's what happens when everything you know changes, you have to adapt and if there was nothing else he knew how to do, Orochimaru knew how to adapt to any situation. Maybe if he had the luxury of a future he could hold onto the thought of looking back and laughing at his situation. To reminisce over tea with Kabuto, or something equally stupid that he only wanted to do because it simply wasn't possible anymore.

He crawled on his belly, the shadows of the sun chilling his skin as he shifted through the grass. It was desperate, the need he could feel clawing up from his chest. Orochimaru had seen a lot in his long life, had done a great deal more and it was the first time that he couldn't think of a way out of this mess he managed to place himself in.

The Goddess who once was bound in the moon was a cruel being, eldritch and wild she turned her eyes about the battle-field her fingers outstretched as an entire army was felled. There was no way he could fight that, there was no hope for him to be able to survive Her no matter how much he had prevailed in the past.

No matter what he had done in his life, Orochimaru was still very much mortal.

There was a certain irony to it, that he had no chance to live as he was, so he had to find a way to live through others. It was the sort of sentimental nonsense he never thought he would be ensnared by, disgusting in its own manner. He slid into the cave, barely managing to make it to the meeting place they had agreed on for their last desperate gambit. Naruto and Kakashi stood further in their shoulders slumped as they checked the seals sprawled out on the ground.

"We don't have much more time, I hope that your seals will hold Uzumaki." He hadn't talked in weeks, the croak of his own voice startling in the thick silence between them. The blonde-haired man turned with a tired smile, none of the reservations his sensei seemed to hold against the Orochimaru in his face.

"You can do more than hope, old man, my seals are the best we have right now."

"You have a clone meditating? The nature chakra you can gather is one of the key elements of this plan." He murmured scanning the others work quickly to check for any obvious mistakes.

"You worry too much, everything will be alright."

"You do not worry enough!" He hissed narrowing his eyes in frustration at the other's blind optimism. They didn't get to this point because the world was good or just, they got here because it was cruel, and they were the jokes Gods told each other during family reunions.

"I don't think you have a right to have any opinion Orochimaru," Kakashi cut in sharply in defense of his student.

"I suppose my right was lost when I defected from Konoha then? Where is your precious village now Hatake?" Orochimaru smiled, his teeth flashing in the low light, "It's but a few shinobi in tents patiently waiting to be culled."

"Come on guys, let's not fight. We have jobs to do." Naruto said into the awkward silence.

"No, if the snake has something to say, he should just say it." Kakashi snapped.

He could feel his temper flare for a moment, hot like the chakra before a fire jutsu collecting at the back of his neck. Ultimately there has always been a reason that Orochimaru has never played well with others, they always let their emotions get in the way of what is needed to be done. In the end, they had a job to do, petty emotions did nothing but slow them down.

"My point, child, is that we are doomed. What we are doing now isn't even a fix for the world we are in right now, it's a gamble in the hopes that we can save whatever other dimensions there may be from the same fate, that one of us can live on while the others die to her." Orochimaru closed his eyes for a moment, breathing deeply, "Naruto will not save us as we are, but he can save us as we could have been."

"You are a monster," Kakashi began slowly, stepping around the seals so he could stand within inches of the other man. He had seen better days, the angry scar over his sharingan seemed starker against his much too pale skin, his hair limp and dull compared to what it had once been, "You expect me to trust the word of a monster."

It really was a shame that the other ninja was so against him. Orochimaru wished, for a desperate moment, for him to understand that those choices were made and there was no changing them. He wasn't entirely sure he would change them if given the chance, the possibility of a much worst outcome stilling his hypothetical hand. At least he knew this evil, knew the madness that settled heavily in his own mind.

"I expect you to have no choice," his voice broke cutting him off for a moment before he cleared it, "you have no choice because I am the only one left who can help you. Everyone else is dead Hatake, and soon we will join them."

"You sound rather calm about that considering what you have done to avoid death."

"I am not a fool, this is not a world I wish to live in." He laughed, harsh and bitter, "I suppose death would be pleased to have the full set of Sannin."

They were silent, watching each other for a moment before moving on to finish the preparations for the jutsu. The set of signs, long and difficult considering they had to all be done simultaneously, was Orochimaru's own contribution to the plan. It had taken him months to figure out the signs that would be needed to match Uzumaki's seals, so their chakra would seamlessly meld to power the matrix.

It went shockingly well so he didn't understand why seeing the fallen god standing at the mouth of their cave near the end of their jutsu was so jarring. Nothing ever went well, after all, so why would it be a shock to have the worst possibility happen?

And there she stood, eyes wide and dark a single hand pressed against the stone of their cave wall, her very presence enough to almost bring Orochimaru to his knees. They were all frozen, her chakra filling the very air around them stilling their bodies as they trembled before her, their heartbeats the only sound they could hear.

It was in that moment that Orochimaru would later try to justify to himself. He had to do it, he would say in the dark of the night, he had to, or She would have won.

Orochimaru would never be a wise man.

The sealing matrix glowed, the jutsu finishing itself at the moment before She struck.

No, he would never be a wise man but, oh, was he a selfish one.

He stepped forward into the matrix and meeting eyes, so blue they hurt, gleaming with betrayal and then nothing.

* * *

The first thing that he knew was pain, pain so strong he forgot for a moment who he was. Forgot everything but the singular throbbing horror.

There is a theory about reincarnation that the pain of being born into the world is what makes you forget your past life, that in it your mind is cleansed so you can start anew.

Maybe the pain would cleanse him, maybe he could forget.

Orochimaru did not remember many things about his mother. In some moments he would remember silken hair brushing over his shoulder, eyes as golden as his own gleaming as fingertips grazed his features. He remembered sharp barbs and crooked smiles, a mouth full of dull teeth and a kunai in hand.

Above all else, he remembered every saying his mother passed onto him. In those moment's that he did not think he could move on, when the weight of the world seemed the lean on his narrow shoulders he remembered how she would sigh, running her fingers through his hair, and recite to him something he was sure was said to her by her own mother.

His Favorite, when he was younger, was 'ten people, ten colors.' It was a rather odd way of saying every person was different, with their own colors and ways of being.

He wondered now what color he may be.

He thought, at the moment at least, he would be rather muddied. Like the banks near where a sea met a river, brackish and unsure. He was probably an ugly color, stained by the things he had done and had yet to do.

Now, however, all that he was is that of a snake devouring itself, never feeling full, self-mutilation and desperation mixing in with the animalist need to continue. To survive. Forever begging to whatever god still listened to his pleas, greedy for more.

The only thing left to do was continue, to settle into the pain and be reborn on the other side.

The hospital bed he was on smelled like antiseptics and soap.

He didn't particularly know how he got here, the fact he was in a hospital at all suggested the jutsu was a success. The pain he vaguely remembered still seared behind his eyes, his body sore from the struggle he faced with something not unlike himself. Wrapped around that something he remembered the taste it left in his mouth as he consumed it, taking it into himself, the pain of merging, the sudden clarity of old memories and then the yawning nothing that came after.

He shifted, his head pounding as he pressed the tips of his fingers to his temple. He knew his body enough to know that the pain he was feeling wasn't all the odd spiritual ache. He remembered how Tsunade told him once that medics were always strange about headwounds, only the best were allowed to heal them and even then, they preferred to leave it to natures discretion.

What a shame.

"Oh!" A voice called from the doorway, a nurse probably half Orochimaru's height stood there nervously shuffling her feet. "It's good to see you are awake."

"What is today's date?" His voice rasped oddly for a moment, he felt raw and uneven, strange in his own skin like those moments after he took a new body. It had been so long since he was himself, it was strangely like coming home.

"It's the same day, you were only out for a few hours. You gave everyone in the lab quite the scare sir, just falling unconscious like that. The Doctor will be by soon to talk to you about any test results, so we know what might have caused it." She bustled into the room quickly checking his vitals and then flashed lights in his eyes to check the dilation of his pupils before smiling nervously down at him, "Why don't you try to get some more sleep in the meantime, you had a nasty knock on the head so that must hurt, and you could definitely use the rest. We will have someone come in and wake you up every few hours if the Doctor probably won't be able to get to you until tomorrow morning."

"Thank you."

"Of course, sir! Let us know if you need anything."

And just like that he was alone again.

He slept in the silence.

* * *

He was released from the hospital that night, they believe him to have mild amnesia, which is fine with him. There was nothing more they could do and his abilities as a shinobi was not affected so it didn't really matter.

He managed to establish where he was in the timeline at least. It was ten years before the Kyuubi would be released, he was 28 years old, Tsunade had already left the village, Jiraiya at her heels while he stared at their backs. It stung a great deal more than it should, the wound left by their abandonment fresher than he remembered it being.

The only bright side he could think of was that Naruto wasn't the one to step through the seal, the fact that he had been thrown back so far into the past showing that they had miscalculated somewhere and all they would have done was killed the blonde-haired boy.

There was so much he had to do, he was already tired.

His first act of business would be figuring out a way to kill Zetsu, the original plan was to burn the creature with a corrosive jutsu that utilized the Kyuubi's chakra but that wasn't really an option anymore.

If he were to be completely honest he wasn't even sure if he would follow through with what he originally did and end up a missing-nin. It would get him access to Zetsu and it would be a good way to experiment with different ways to kill Zetsu since the creature was partially composed of Hashirama's DNA and the only way he would be able to get to such a sample would be to work with Danzo once again.

Orochimaru sighed, there were so many options that he could pursue, none of them particularly glamorous. Once upon a time, the answer would have been simple, and he wouldn't even be questioning what he should be doing. Now all he ever will be is a tired old man, unbalanced, wanting nothing more than a moment to catch his breath and rest.

"This is why it should have been you who was sent back, Naruto, you are far nobler than I ever could dream to be." He paused pulling his own hair back in a high ponytail as he gazed evenly at the mirror, "Nevertheless I will do anything to ensure she is never a problem you have to face."

The boy inspired loyalty in anyone he spoke to, Orochimaru was certainly not immune to such charisma.

* * *

 **Notes:**

This is my personal characterization of Orochimaru, I feel like he is a deeply misunderstood character. I'm not saying he's a good person or anything but I think he became the way he was for a number of reasons. Part of what this story will be is trying to understand those reasons, the other part is because black. is a cruel goddess of rare pairs and after reading _A Snake In the Grass, A Wolf At the Door_ I ship Oro and Sakumo.


	2. Sidewinding

**::**

 **Chapter two: Sidewinding**

 **::**

The rain outside tapped at the window of the Hokage's office, collecting in the street below.

"You were absent for our tea yesterday."

Orochimaru loved the rain.

Konoha's rainy season was by extension his favorite season. There was a cleansing nature to the rain, something that helped relax him even when he was the most stressed. It was in the rain that he fought his best battles, it was in the rain that the blood washed away before it could stain. That was perhaps what he missed most when he was a rogue, because there was not a single place that had rain like Konoha. The smell, the pattern of raindrops on roofs and tree canopies.

"I seemed to have hit my head during some odd fainting spell and have forgotten some unimportant things."

It felt odd, standing before the man who at one point he was sure he hated and in equal parts loved. Like talking to a ghost. His father, his mentor; the careless fraud.

It rained during his funeral.

"You think our little get-togethers are unimportant?" his teacher leaned forward blowing a long stream of smoke in the way Orochimaru knew he used to hide his amusement, "I think my feelings are hurt."

"You'll get over it." He drawled back falling easily in once remembered banter, "You summoned me for something?"

"To the point, like always, can't I talk with my student every now and then?"

"Not when you summoned said student from work he could be doing."

"You are going to make an old man cry."

"Then cry." Orochimaru waved his hand out dismissively, "I'm still waiting for the reason I'm here, I'm sure you can choke it out through your blubbering."

Hiruzen laughed a moment then seemed to hesitate, busying himself with his pipe as if to distance himself from his own request. It made Orochimaru tense, the easy atmosphere he had been enjoying souring as quickly as it was formed.

"I would like to send you on a mission with a lax time restraint, in that time I would like you to find Tsunade and check on her. Her birthday is-"

"I will take the mission, but I will not be seeking her out." He interrupted sharply before the Hokage could finish.

"Orochimaru, I understand you are upset with her, but you must understand how much she has lost. She could do with her teammate's support." He spoke in his wizened way, carefully trying to make Orochimaru see his side.

"She was not the only one who lost things, sensei, Nawaki was as much my student as he was her brother. Instead of turning to myself or Jiraiya for comfort she runs from it like a madwoman abandoning the village Nawaki and Dan would have done everything to protect."

"I think you are less upset that she abandoned the village and more upset she abandoned you."

"She is being childish, and you are indulging her temper tantrum."

"She is mourning."

"Aren't we all?"

"Orochimaru please," he began before Orochimaru continued over him as if he were not speaking at all.

"If that is all I think I would like to get back to my lab to finish off a few things before going on the mission. If I see her I will give her whatever it is you want me to give her, but I refuse to seek her out."

"Thank you for that much, the mission will start tomorrow so you have time to delegate whatever you are doing in your labs." He sighed reaching into his drawer to pull out two scrolls, "The first scroll is my present to Tsunade, the second is the mission parameters."

Orochimaru nodded, easily sliding both into his leg holster before bowing shallowly, "If that is all?"

"When you return we will have tea, I will make sure of it."

"Of course."

"Then you are dismissed."

Orochimaru noticed, carefully shunshining out of the office, that not once did the Hokage ask why he may have fainted. Instead, he was asked to deliver a present like a common carrier ninja.

He couldn't help the bitter taste that settled in his mouth as he heart pounded in his ears.

* * *

The mission was to deliver a scroll to the monks in the water temple east of Kiri. Kiri itself was already under a shutdown, so going anywhere near the village was quite dangerous. He did it once when he found Kimimaro and took him in. He wondered if he should look for the child again, but then again he was already wild and lost by then. Already cast aside by his village like trash. Besides, here were too many variables for hm to decide so soon. Either way, he had a mission to complete.

He wasn't sure what was inside the scroll, whether it was some sort of written treaty or that of a storage scroll. He didn't particularly care either, whatever it may be was high enough of a priority to warrant the excuse of sending a Sannin to deliver it.

It simply was not his job to know what was inside the scroll.

When Orochimaru was younger the religion that the scattered monks across the land practiced had caught his attention. Buddhism, at its core, was the acceptance of everything in the world, with no intention to change it, because it was balanced. He liked the way it made him feel like everything had a reason like everything happened for a greater design where everything would eventual be okay. It would explain how he was orphaned so young, how unnerved people were by him, how no matter what he did he didn't seem to do anything right.

But, oh, they were right to fear him after all, weren't they?

As he grew older he found that he had no place in the religion, his hands bloodied by things he said and did that did not match up with the basic tenets of Buddhism. There was no end to any suffering, there was no reincarnation waiting for you after death, no divine cycle, and if there was he didn't want it. So, he made his own.

With each new body, he was reborn, with each new life lost his was lengthen. he had lived the life of hundreds and yet never once died. It was beautiful, a form of art all its own and he was happy for a time.

As happy as he could be.

Even now there were things that painted his way of life that could be traced back to his time studying the way of the monks.

Anicca, dukkha, and anatta.

Annica was that everything had an end, everything was liable to eventually disappear. Dukkha was that nothing could be relied upon, there was no such thing as true happiness. Anatta; there was no permeance, no underlying substance called true self. There was nothing that can be truly controlled. In the end, there was only chakra. The only thing you had in the world to rely on was yourself and even then, you would eventually fail.

The monks greeted him warmly, the mist was heavy in his lungs his clothing damp and clinging to his skin. The few bandits he had found on the way there were easily dealt with, his sword clean and his eyes sharp.

"Peace shinobi, thank you for your work." A line of heads bowed, they did not offer him entrance.

"Konoha sends her regards."

He was not welcome in their halls.

He doesn't find Tsunade, he doesn't particularly try either. He had made it clear that he did not agree with her new way of life and refused to search through gambling halls for a single blonde head.

He staunchly ignored the tightness in his chest.

When he returned to his home a package sits innocently on his kitchen table, Root's mark stamped harshly on its card.

* * *

The steam from the tea warmed his face as he gripped his cup, the warmth seeping into his body through his fingertips.

"It's been a while since we had the time to sit together, tell me what has been happening lately?" Hiruzen sipped his own cup, a dash of honey and cream lighter and sweeter than his own. It was a week after his mission to the monks, in that time things had been still and uneventful.

"You never have the time and when you do there are obviously more important things to do." He sighed adjusting his position to be more comfortable, "We have made a breakthrough in vaccinations, I have spoken to a few of the Nara members of the research team and they believe that the vaccinations in tandem to a vitamin plan will prevent the outbreak of the virus from spreading further than it already has."

"That's good, I remember reading one of your reports that were along those lines, what about in your free time? Anything interesting?"

'I traveled back in time' he doesn't say, 'I traveled back and don't know what to do. I didn't mean to, I didn't want to, but I couldn't stop myself and now I'm here with no plan and everything happening all at once.'

"Do you honestly care?" slips out instead before he can stop it, the words he has always meant to ask.

He was silent for a moment as if startled, "What do you mean?"

"We are the unlucky three, the Sannin of Konoha. One an amazing medic who couldn't even save the lives of the ones she loved the most, another an orphan who can't get the girl he wants so desperately to love him, and the last a freak no one, not even his teammates, care about." Orochimaru sets down his tea, he had wanted to ask this of his teacher for so long he sometimes even regretted the part he had in his death. Hiruzen looked like Orochimaru had hit him. Like a punch to the gut driving all of the air out of his teacher's lungs with a single strike. "Do you even care about who we are beyond shinobi for you or pretty little accomplishments you can tuck under your belt?"

"Of course, I care," The Hokage's voice shook for a moment, unsteady, "I will always care about you three, I think of you as my children."

"I pity Asuma if this is how you treat your children." He felt politely detached, two strangers talking about a policy they didn't meet eye to eye on, "either way we have fallen apart. There is very little room left for me."

"Is this because I asked you to look for Tsunade for me?"

"You would think it was because of that."

He felt like laughing.

"Orochimaru talk plainly, I grow tired of your theatrics."

"I'm tired, sensei." He had thought he was passed this, the constant ache he remembered long ago when they first turned their backs on him and yet here he was _aching_ all over again like a child. "I am tired and alone."

"I don't know what to do to help you."

"I don't know if there is anything you can do. Not now."

He leaves cold and hollow.

He misses his team, he misses the closeness they used to have, he misses the way that he could always trust them with his back before he ruined it all the first time.

* * *

It's odd, how quickly the world around a person can be both familiar and strange.

The training field is dark and muddied, ruined under the weight of his jutsu but he doesn't know how to stop. So, he keeps going, tearing trees up by their roots and leaving furrows as deep as he was tall in the ground. He spent years running, hiding like vermin, he remembers how it felt to be clever and free. And now he was here again, in the place be adored and despised among the people who feared and relied on him in equal turns.

He missed it, he detested it, his jaw ached as he opened it wide swallowing his own wavering thoughts.

"Hello, Orochimaru," The man reminded him of dusty books and ground bone, of the earth beneath his feet and the blood of war on his teeth.

"Hello, Danzo."

"I believe I have a proposition for you that you may be interested in," said the old war hawk to the snake, "for the good of Konoha."

"For the good of Konoha, Of course," he felt himself respond, "I'm listening."

He can almost feel Naruto's disappointment but if he plays his cards right he will get everything he needs and remain in Konoha.

But, oh, it was a gamble.


	3. Shallow Graves

**::**

 **Chapter three: Shallow Graves**

 **::**

Orochimaru had seen a lot of death in his lifetime, he had become intimately familiar with it. The shuttering breath, a death rattle sighed softly between teeth, the squelch of a kunai sliding between the fourth and fifth rib, the screams of horror and pain. They all clung to his memory damning him and driving him to his own form of madness.

In the wake of war some shinobi can't bear to be near cooked meats, others fear fireworks or the flash of light on metal. Some break suddenly, others slowly, Orochimaru has always been unsure which category he fell into. He wasn't sure if every day he woke up a little more broken or if it was a sudden crack brought on by an internal pressure.

What he did know was that he came back from war fearing death itself, an obsession to live beyond the mundane, to find immortality or to make it himself. One that derived from a youth drowned in loss. First his father, before he could even know him, then his mother when he was still bright eyed and childish. They were his introductions to the cruel reality of the world. This fear drove him to do things he would never had dreamed of doing when he was a genin, a pursuit to change the very nature of his body, to stamp out all mortality till he was his very own god.

His own creator.

And maybe if Konoha wasn't fathered on the backs of broken and war warn shinobi, where mental health meant little, he could have been saved the first time. Maybe he wouldn't have fallen so far so fast and then driven himself out of his very home. It was his bookish nature in the end that made him great, his need to learn and understand the driving force even in his own madness.

It was in the end the nature of shinobi that made him cruel and sharp, his morals few and far between. He had lived the life of three wars, first when he became a Sannin, then again in his prime, and finally one waged against a god. He could still remember the horrors that he faced, watching Kabuto crumble like dust before him, each of his creations, his children, left like broken dolls in the wake of her army. He remembered the stench of their flesh when he burned them, his hands shaking as he unmade his own creations, so they may not be used against him.

In the end he was a child afraid of his own shadow, the stark line between what he could have been and what he knew he became was so jarring it almost felt unreal.

Orochimaru was terrified of death, so he conquered it. He conquered his own mind and body and remade himself. There is no advantage in death, no way to get out on top. There was nothing but a broken husk, the embodiment of the void itself.

He learned, he adapted, a cockroach surviving the nuclear fallout of the world's mistakes.

"Hello summoner," a voice interrupted his thoughts dragging him from the empty stare he had leveled out his window, "I have some new gossip."

"Hello Shizuka," He smiled holding out his hand to let the pretty garden snake coil around his wrist, "you are looking as lovely as ever."

"Flattery will get you nowhere," her tongue flicked across his skin smugly, "a mouse however is never amiss."

"I'll be sure to catch you one before you leave, you have been well I hope?"

"Of course, as have my hatchlings. They will be old enough to bring to meet you soon, when that day comes be sure to have many mice on hand."

"Forewarn me and I look forward to it."

"I don't understand why you don't always have mice, they are a good snack," she lifted her head, yawning in a show of her fangs before settling down once again, "Your loud teammate is in town, the one that smells of toads and oil."

"Jiraiya? How long?"

"A week now, I believe he will be leaving again soon."

Orochimaru ignored how it hurt that he hadn't been visited. "I see, I assume his appearance isn't the only thing that has caught your interest."

"Oh no, there's been a rather juicy rumor going around about a man who started a war. That is at least the opinion of many of the people I've heard lately. I don't really understand how a man can start a war alone, but they seem convinced."

"Oh, a war?" Orochimaru tried to remember the reason for the third great ninja war, he couldn't quite place why it had happened.

"Oh yes, rather interesting isn't it." Shizuka bobbed her head excitedly, "I tracked down the one they were accusing of all of this, one Sakumo Hatake, he smelled like wet dog. He doesn't look like much really, I don't see how he could have caused a war."

"What exactly are they saying he did?"

"Mixed accounts really, some say he abandoned his mission and saved the lives of his fellow nestmates others say he directly sabotaged the mission and lead to its failure."

Ah, now he remembered. The White Fang, a shinobi that gained infamy in the second war against Suna, Ame, and Iwa. He couldn't remember exactly what happened to him, but he remembered him dying relatively soon.

"Interesting, is that all?"

"It's the biggest thing happening right now, I've gotten some movement from root. Very difficult to track but one of my people said that they have been watching you a great deal. The leader, Danzo, has been holding meetings with groups of his operatives. They are planning something, but we do not know what, we nearly lost someone who tried to get closer to find out."

"Don't risk getting closer again seeing as you already almost paid the price for that, do you have thoughts on what he may be planning?"

"An ambush of some sorts."

"Why is that?"

"That's the only reason why you gather so many people like that, either an ambush or some sort of trap."

"I see," He drawled faintly running his fingertips across her scales absently, "that is entirely possible, but this may simply be a response to the new threat of war."

"You can never be too careful." She hissed.

He nodded absently, staring out of his window to watch the rain flood his garden, "No, I don't suppose you can."

* * *

Orochimaru had a plan.

It was perhaps the only solid plan he had managed to come up with, the details were loose enough for him to adapt or change major points in the plan at a drop of a hat.

He decided that using Danzo to get a hold of DNA would be the best course of action. He could then take everything that much further and remain with root and the experimentation that eventually lead to his rogue status or he could gather evidence and turn Danzo in to the Hokage. Both had their individual advantages, with one he had a great deal more time with the Hashirama's DNA and access to more should he fail. He would later have far more freedom as a rogue than he would as a shinobi of the leaf. With the other he had the possibility of a shinobi village backing him, he didn't have to live the life of a rogue constantly looking over his shoulders. He would be able to show his face without the fear of an immediate attack, he would be as unnoticed as a Sannin could be.

After he managed to get ahold of Hashirama's DNA the next step would be designing either a seal or a jutsu that would target the unique structure in a certain radius. That would rapidly destroy the white Zetsus that black Zetsu had stored in the Gedō Mazō greatly reducing his army. Destroying the statue itself would be the next order of business, a combination of his rudimentary sealing abilities and his strongest jutsu may end up being what he needed to destroy the summon, preferably before it was dismissed. It would then be a matter of locating and destroying black Zetsu himself.

Lightning flashed eerily, cutting through the night, Orochimaru counted the breaths between it and the sound of thunder.

It was a lot to do and very little time to do it.

He could sense the root member crawling across his ceiling, the movements silent and steady. He wasn't sure what they were here for, wasn't sure if he cared but he knew that they wouldn't leave without finishing their mission.

The root member hesitated a moment, Orochimaru poured some cream into his tea in one smooth movement watching the liquid grow cloudy. They flared their chakra faintly, just enough to show their intent incase he did not know they were there and then landed in front of him, the rolling thunder covering the soft sound of their landing.

"Good evening," Orochimaru said, watching the operative carefully, "What are you doing in my home?"

"Danzo requests an audience." The black eyes of his cat mask stared.

"When?"

"Now."

There was silence broken up by the sound of the rain outside tap at Orochimaru's roof as they stared at one another.

"So needy. I'll be finishing my tea before I go anywhere." He sipped his tea almost pointedly using it to hide the smirk he knew was on his lips.

"Danzo want's you now."

"My tea has just been made and I dislike cold tea."

Old men had to find entertainment somewhere and short circuiting a root member may become his new favorite pastime. They were conditioned not to have emotions and to complete a mission verbatim so offering instances where the mission had to be either altered or could not be completed caused a great deal of stress for them. Especially considering even a member of root knew they would not win in a fight against Orochimaru so they certainly couldn't force him.

"I've finished my tea and am ready to go now cat, please lead the way."

Danzo had chosen to meet with him in what he could only assume would be one of Root's underground bases around Konoha, how it managed to not flood he would never know.

"Hello Danzo, you have very interesting operatives."

"Oh," he cast a glance at Cat as if he could assess what had happen with a look alone, "I see."

"Yes, now what have you called me here for?"

"I would like us to begin our association now if you are amendable?"

"Of course."

"You are a man of science, am I correct in assuming this?"

"Yes, I am."

"So would it be within you ability to learn to recreate lost kekkei genkai so that Konoha may be strong again?"

"You do not believe Konoha to be strong already?"

"Not as strong as she could be."

"What you are proposing is a type of blood line theft."

"I suppose I am, would you be willing."

There was silence for a moment, Orochimaru could feel every single operative shift closer to him the air around them tense.

"Yes, what kekkei genkai are you looking to recreate? I know of at least two that have been lost to time, the Kurama clan's illusions and the Senju's wood release."

"The wood release, if we are successful we could then maybe turn to the Kurama clan."

"How do you want us to recreate this kekkei genkai? Shall we be starting from scratch?"

"I figured by using some of Hashirama's DNA we may be able to recreate it."

"it is far better than starting from scratch, I would need to identify what part of the DNA attributes to the wood release so that we would know what needs to be duplicated seeing as not everyone of the Senju clan has this ability."

"Of course." Danzo responded stiffly, his hands hovering over a scroll a moment before passing it to Orochimaru, "I trust you will come to me when you have identified what you need so we may plan the next course of action?"

"Yes," Orochimaru responded, drawing out the s slightly as he weighed the scroll in his hand. He could almost laugh, everything was going according to plan, he had already managed to complete step one of his goal, obtaining Hashirama's DNA. "I trust that is all you needed from me?"

"Yes, that is all," Danzo seemed to hesitate a moment, before nodding, "please remember we will be watching."

* * *

Orochimaru knew that Naruto would not agree with his plan to destroy Zetsu and save the world from Kaguya. He would find it too crass, too harsh, too cruel.

He searched diligently for his favorite spice pack, the assortment of spices was the last thing he needed before he would be able to head home.

"Stupid idiot, you shouldn't be in Konoha!" A civilian child threw a rotten tomato at the figure of a man, "you are a traitor!"

Orochimaru glanced at the man, freezing for a moment when he saw that it was the White fang, his long silver hair matted and his eyes tired. His entire body seemed to sag, folded in on itself, hiding him from view.

Orochimaru caught the next tomato thrown at the man.

"What do you think you are doing?" He hissed coolly.

"He's a traitor, he's the reason why we are at war and mommy said he should be punished."

"No matter what you seem to think he has done he is a jounin of this village, you will not be throwing things at him again. Should I catch you doing so against my advisement," Orochimaru released a hint of killing intent, not enough to do the child any damage but enough to get his point across, "you will regret it."

The child jerked, their face paling before running off as fast as their little feet would take them, Orochimaru watched them for a moment before casting the tomato to the side and turning to Sakumo.

"You shouldn't allow them to do that to you."

The jounin blinked slightly in confusion, "Why not? They are right after all."

"Why?" Orochimaru adjusted his groceries feeling infinitely more annoyed. "What is it that you have done that is so heinous?"

"I started a war?"

"You? One man? How arrogant for you to think that."

"I chose to save a comrade over completing the mission, compromising it and starting a war."

"Again, how arrogant of you to assume that your one action is what has caused this war. You are the excuse not the cause, war was at our doorstep already they just needed something to blame. Besides do you regret it?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Do you regret saving your comrade." Orochimaru leaned forward slightly watching the man as he regarded Orochimaru skeptically.

There was silence for a moment and Orochimaru almost turned and left in the lapse.

"No, I don't believe I do."

"That makes you a good man Hatake, someone who represents the will of fire Konoha harps on about."

"would you have done the same?"

Orochimaru paused, surprised.

"Honestly? I do not know." He studied Sakumo again for a moment before turning speaking over his shoulder as he left, "But I am not a good man."

"I think you are one Orochimaru!"

"I'm sorry?" He paused, his back still turned.

"Bad men don't stop children from throwing tomatoes at the village pariah."

He glanced over his shoulder for a moment, giving the man a measured glance. He looked less wary, his back straighter and his shoulders back.

"I don't suppose they do."


	4. Thin Bones

**::**

 **Chapter four: Thin Bones**

 **::**

Orochimaru forgot how very noisy war was.

He always thought that a war between shinobi should be quiet, the type of battle fought in shadows with senbon dipped in poison. Instead, it was filled with screamed jutsu and fallen soldiers, of the clang of Kunai and a thousand feet pounding on the ground to the rhythm no one knew. It was the crunch of bone between the teeth of madness, wide-eyed and bloodied.

There were children, all sharp elbows and gapped teeth that pattered onto the battlefield like ants. Not as young as when the clans still wared against one another but so very young and unsure of the world their kunai cutting through the throat of an enemy with blinding clarity.

He hated it.

He did not hate it because of any morals he may or may not have, or the incessant need to protect the next generation because if he were to be honest with anyone he did not truly care for all of that. Maybe he did once, but he did not know when he was already so jaded. When he had seen what the next generation would become and feared the horrors they would create. No, he hated it for the instability using ones so young and inexperienced, still developing, still learning, brought to a war front. He hated it for the hand it had in his first student's death.

His first responsibility, the one thing he had ever been truly trusted with.

Nawaki had been a smart child, one he thought he had taught enough to survive well on a battlefield, one he thought would be able to make it through everything that was thrown at him. And he knew he had, that the boy had been ready to fight but there was so much you simply could not account for. That someone with no real fighting experience would never be able to adapt to.

Tsunade had trusted him to protect her precious kid brother and he had failed.

There were not many times that Orochimaru fundamentally failed at anything, there were not many times that he found it in himself to regret something. He regretted not doing better for Nawaki, for failing the one person that he knew without a doubt accepted him for how he was rather than how he could be.

He failed his sister, it clung to the back of his throat like a sickness, congealing, making it hard to breathe. He failed his sister, and now he lived in the shadow of that failure. He woke up every day realizing that she left him alone and it was all his fault.

That night he was horrible and wicked, the battlefield was silent save for the crunch of bone as his summons ate their fill. He broke the ground in two under his weight and crushed his enemies with a flick of his wrist. He was made from war, molded by it; it was so much a part of him that at times of peace he barely knew what to do with himself. He thrived in it and in the end, it wasn't the madness that comes with all manner of conflict clawing up from his belly that broke him, it was the weight of every expectation heaped onto him.

He spent a month on the frontlines, battling beside many different shinobi, their faces blurring together endlessly. Unimportant as they fell, their broken sobs for a release he granted them.

They won, and they lost, everything returning to the clamor of war and Orochimaru was so very tired of all the noise.

* * *

Orochimaru returned with the first rotation of shinobi, they arrived at the gates with the moon looming above their head. Tension Orochimaru never notice he had left his spine as he slide into the village once more.

His plan was to head home, he didn't have anyone here he had to let know he was back, it wasn't like anyone would particularly care if he survived beyond what it would mean to lose a Sanin during wartimes. Or at least that was the plan until he saw a familiar head of silver hair. Suddenly he was at the bar next to Sakumo, his hand already out to the bartender to get his attention.

"You're a breath of fresh air aren't you?" the silver-haired man sighed before taking another sip of his sake. Sakumo was definitely already drunk and only getting drunker, Orochimaru wasn't entirely sure how drunk exactly, but he was willing to bet it was significant.

"I can leave." Orochimaru sneered, shifting to do just that, coming here had been a mistake brought on by his own tired mind. A lapse in judgment. He couldn't fathom why he wasn't already in his home getting ready for bed.

"No, I'm being serious." Sakumo's hand shot out wrapping firmly around his wrist, "You are fantastic. Please stay?"

Orochimaru stared at him for a moment before settling down next to the other man again.

"I've been thinking about what you said," the Jonin settled back down as well, his eyes drooping.

"I say a great many things, you are going to have to be more specific."

"About the war and stuff." He paused as if to gage Orochimaru's reaction before continuing, "I don't regret it."

"You didn't seem the type of man to regret something that saved another's life."

"You really think I didn't start the war?"

"I think you are an excuse to wage war Hatake, nothing more nothing less. Eventually, this will fade to nothing, but an uncomfortable memory as the public find something else to latch onto."

"How can you be so sure?"

Orochimaru thought back to his plan, to blue eyes and sprawling seals, and felt the air leave him as if hit.

"I'm not."

They were silent for a moment, simply sipping their drinks side by side enjoying the other's presence. Orochimaru's sake scorched his throat and settled heavily in his stomach.

"You came back from the war?"

"Yes."

"I'm getting sent out soon."

"It's war. They could use another heavy hitter like Konoha's White Fang throwing their weight around."

"It's in wars like this that people like us are born."

"We are born long before the wars start Hatake, it's just in them that people realize exactly what we are capable of."

The bartender came back dropping another bottle off for Orochimaru and Sakumo to share.

"Do you think my son will have to fight in it?" Sakumo broke the silence again, leaning back far enough that he almost toppled off the barstool.

"Probably."

"And it's not my fault."

"Are you dumb or simply inept."

"Excuse me for my insecurities."

"You're a shinobi, not a housewife."

"I wouldn't mind that."

"What?" Orochimaru choked a little on his drink as he sputtered the word.

"Can I be your housewife, Orochimaru?"

"You're drunk."

"You didn't say no."

They fell into silence again, the only sound between them that of the bar itself. In it Orochimaru could felt the press his own expectation, the heavy crawling feeling under his skin like he wasn't doing enough, that he himself wouldn't be enough. It wasn't a feeling he had felt since he was young since he was small and unsure and full of so much hope.

"Will it get better?" Sakumo whispered, Orochimaru barely heard him over the noise of every other patron in the bar.

Orochimaru found that life was a lot like drowning. You struggled every day to keep your head above the water, uselessly treading water until you simply couldn't anymore, your head slipping beneath the water for just long enough you thought you would die, and then you find the strength to pull yourself back up. That was the problem, Sakumo couldn't find the strength to pull himself up. They were side by side, drowning in a village of people coasting by on boats and all they could do was grip at the closest thing to them. The closest thing was, unfortunately, their fellow drowning man.

"Yes," Orochimaru responded, hoping for once he wasn't lying.

The silence returned again, and they drank for another hour before the Sakumo finally decided he had had enough.

"Will you help me home?"

Orochimaru sighed as he held the other man up, supporting his weight, "Hurry up."

They walked through the streets of Konoha, the streetlights casting shadows over their faces like ghosts. It didn't take them long to reach Sakumo's house, the man himself refused to release Orochimaru.

"Let's eat something before you leave," He nodded lightly towards the kitchen, "to sober up."

"Are you cooking."

"I was kind of hoping you would."

"I thought you were my housewife."

"Sorry, my love, I'm a really bad cook."

Orochimaru startled himself with a laugh as he helped the other man into his house and started to cook some of the meat he found in the other man's fridge. It didn't take long for Sakumo to start talking again; his body slumped at the dining room table.

"Do you love Konoha?"

Orochimaru paused for a moment, studying the pan in front of him as if it had the correct answer to a question like that. He thought about lying, saying 'yes, of course,' like it was the truth when he knew it wasn't, but it was the easy answer. Instead, he took a deep breath.

"I met a boy once, a blonde haired blue eyed child-"

"That's not answering my question."

"Shut up, or I'll disembowel you." Orochimaru snapped narrowing his eyes before returning to the meal he was preparing, "The boy was probably the best person I had ever met, he was kind and understanding and so unbelievably bright. He was like the sun, and everyone around him was simply happy to bask in his presence. He was," Orochimaru paused trying to find something that was believable, searching for the right words, "He was from the flower district and had seen so much of the horrors humans were capable of and yet still every day he would tell me how much he loved Konoha. It baffled me, still does, how someone could love a village that hated them. But he did. I love the Konoha that boy saw, the village we could be."

"That's a really fancy way of saying you don't love your village."

"How could I? This village abandoned me a long time ago. I used to pacify myself with people like my teammates, but even they have left me now."

"What happened to the boy."

"What?"

"You used past tense."

Orochimaru was silent for a moment, carefully dishing out equal portions of the meal he had made for them. In that moment he mourned for the boy, the man, that had managed to bring him back as much as he could be brought back. He felt the pressure like someone pressing their heel against his throat and closed his eyes against the pain.

"He died."

They stared at each other for a moment, a tremor ran through Orochimaru's arm barely controlled through his iron-clad will.

"I am not a good man." The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them.

"Bad men don't take care of strangers."

"Were you ever a stranger?"

* * *

Danzo was like a spider. A clever bug that spun its web carefully with strands you could only see when the light hit them just right. It stretched wide and far and for each fly he ensured the larger it became. He thought Orochimaru was just another fly, a partially powerful fly, and once upon a time that was all he was.

The vial of Hashirama's DNA gleamed in the artificial light, Orochimaru sat quietly in his chair, simply watching it as he felt his heart hammer in his chest.

He wouldn't make the same mistakes he made before.

* * *

"We need more soldiers."

"I refuse."

"Orochimaru, please the girl needs a teacher, and I believe you would be the best for her."

"Find someone else to teach her."

The third Hokage pinched the skin between his eyes, as he sighed out a plume of smoke. The back of Orochimaru's neck itched with tension.

"This isn't a request it is an order."

"If it were Jiraiya or Tsunade refusing you would not force them into it."

"Do not throw your teammates up in my face like that, you know as well as I do that that is not the truth."

But it was the truth; it was so true that Orochimaru almost wanted to laugh in his teacher's face. He did not understand how he could allow Tsunade to run off and Jiraiya to bury himself in spy work that conveniently took him out of the village and yet would not let him refuse to take another student so soon after Nawaki. It may not be the true reason why he was so adamantly refusing, but it was still a valid reason that should be accepted by the third and yet because it was him asking he was denied.

"You are lying to the both of us if you believe that."

"You are taking the genin Anko Mitarashi as your apprentice."

"Yes, Hokage-sama." Orochimaru stiffly bowed, his head dipping low. He took it as the dismissal it really was, the girls file burning in his hands.

He picked her up from the academy an hour later having read through her entire file front to back, the nostalgia particularly strong as it collected in the tension between his shoulder blades.

"Anko?" He called out, scanning the crowd of genin, fully aware of where she was. He watched as she shot up, her eyes wide with shock before running up to him. She looked so young, and in that moment he couldn't help but see the woman she would become. The woman that he beat down over and over again and yet had the strength to rise. He was a poison she should have been saved from, a poison she could have avoided if he had been better or stronger.

He couldn't change himself, only hope that the tolerance she seemed to have was innate to her.

"Meet me at the Akimichi barbecue in five minutes."

* * *

 **Notes:**

Very dialogue heavy chapter. Sorry, this took so long, I have been busy with school and work and haven't had much time to do anything let alone right. I actually got some time because of hurricane Micheal, I live in Florida and the eye passed over the area I live in. I got some writing done because of that and actually planned the basics of the rest of the story. No promises on when the next chapter will be, I will do my best to make it not a long wait.


	5. Wolves Shadow

**::**

 **Wolves Shadow**

 **::**

Warning: suicide mention

Many believe that Orochimaru has never known fear.

That he is a man so completely in control of his emotions, one so above everyone else, that he does not for a moment fear what may lie before him. He was a God, a figure of power cast in a golden glow next to his teammates. They were the three, the mighty. He used to bask in it, the obvious awe on the faces of the many, both ninja and civilian, it gave him a sort of arrogant strength that he never knew he needed.

And then he fell.

He fell from social grace, from prestige to freak and the respect he earned crumbled in his hands like dust. He learned how very fickle everyone around him was, and in that moment, he learned to resent. For a while Orochimaru hated the leaf village, truly hated them with a depth he never knew he had. In the end his banishment wasn't based on any real morality, they didn't care about humanity at large because it was for the good of the village. In the end his misstep was experimenting on clan children, stealing blood line limits and creating new ones.

It was some of his best work.

The wind was curling through the trees, brushing through his hair, and he was chased from his home. He remembered the ANBU, their pale masks gleaming in the moonlight.

It was a nice night, the scent of spring in the air.

After being cast out of the village he was approached to continue his experiments, 'for the good of the village' they said with stooped heads and brandished scrolls, 'continue so we may be strong.'

Part of him wanted to send the village back their heads but a bigger part, the part of him who was still a small boy staring wide eyed up at his teacher accepted.

He was a monster, but he was their monster. A freak on a particularly long leash but still collared all the same.

It was simply how it was; he knew that civilians may see if differently, with their human rights and laws but ninja simply didn't subscribe to the same mentality. Nothing was off limits if it was for the village, he would say that to himself as he drugged children and injected foreign chakra into their gates, he would repeat this as a mantra as he studied blood line limits from other villages.

Orochimaru sat in his office, the walls creeping slowly closer, and he made his case against Danzo, he carefully reconstrued everything Danzo was doing so it seemed like a mad grab for power, supporting himself with whatever evidence he could scrounge together and then he sat back, his fingers stained with ink, and sighed remembering blue eyes.

Orochimaru was tired of being a monster.

* * *

The tea blend for today was something from waterfall, a flowery blend that Orochimaru definitely didn't like.

"Don't like the tea then?" Hiruzen laughed absentmindedly, it was a tradition for them to try different blends of tea. He had one with each of his students, with Tsunade he meditated, with Jiraiya he did Katas, with Orochimaru he drank tea.

Orochimaru knew why he did it, Tsunade needed steadiness, a place to lay her head and calm her ever bleeding heart. Jiraiya needed someone to commiserate with him, someone to listen when no one else would. And Orochimaru needed a person who existed near him, a presence that wasn't intrusive but still existed in his space, so he didn't feel alone.

In the beginning Hiruzen was a good teacher, Orochimaru would go so far as to say the man was the best. There was something so very genuine about him, something that made everyone look up to him and trust him. That's probably why he became Hokage, that charisma.

That didn't mean he didn't make mistakes.

"It's fine enough." Orochimaru took another sip, straining to keep his face impassive.

When he first became Hokage Hiruzen broke a piece of the position and passed it off to Danzo, maybe it was to make the other man feel better about loosing the position, maybe it was because Hiruzen felt like he cheated the other man out of it, it didn't really matter because in the end it was a mistake.

Danzo was making moves in the shadows under the name of the Hokage that is the Daimyo found out than he would most definitely retract his support of the leaf. Murdering everyone who so much as vaguely stood against the leaf, including sending assassins against the Daimyo's own family who spoke against the leaf. This could all be ignored, turned a blind eye to, if Hiruzen really wanted to. What couldn't be ignored is that Danzo had been stealing clan children to amass his army and if the rest of the clans knew about this there would be hell to play.

Orochimaru was willing to be the person to bring this all to light.

Hiruzen laughed loudly, throwing his head back and nearly spilling his tea before he leaned forward running a hand over facial hair. "Come on, I know you can lie better than that Orochimaru!"

"I can come to you with anything, right?" Orochimaru watched the confusion filter across his teacher's face for a moment before it settled into something self-satisfied.

Sometimes you just had to know what to say.

"Of course, Orochimaru," He placed his cup down gently and gave the other man his undivided attention, "you can always come to me with anything."

Orochimaru paused as if considering his words before he glanced around, "Can it be just me and you? No ANBU, with some privacy seals?"

Hiruzen studied him for a moment, "do you really need that?"

"Yes."

"Very well," he waved a hand and in the shifting shadows emerged two ANBU from either side of the room, a cat and a bird. Standing Hiruzen made it across the room and pressed his hand against the door, an intricate seal lighting up across the walls in a flash before fading out of sight. "There now what is so important that you need such secrecy?"

Orochimaru stilled his whole body, watching and waiting for a moment letting the silence fill the space between them.

Then he took a breath and began.

* * *

Orochimaru's mother wasn't a cruel woman, from what little he remembers he knew she was stern and with a wild edge he knew he inherited. She would hold him, he knew, and whisper in his ear the things she knew he needed to know, things like how to hold your body just right and when to keep your mouth shut.

She left him books and books of techniques and explanations on clan jutsu, things that had never been written down for fear of them getting into other peoples hands but then she and him were all that was left, all that remained, and she knew she could die at any moment.

For him she risked it.

The boy in front of him looked just like his father in a way that Orochimaru was unaccustomed to.

"What are you doing here?" Orochimaru held still, careful not to move to fast, as he slowly approached the boy. He was maybe 5, his body small and his hands already callused.

"What do you care?" He snapped, the mask over his face dipping inward and his chest heaving with every breath.

"I was just passing through," Orochimaru studied him a moment longer before looking away and letting his eyes wander the training field, they were in. The trees were like there always were around the leaf, tall and proud, towering over their heads blocking out the sun. They were in clearing with Kunai dug into the bullseye of every target, the ground churned from the aggressive practice of Katas in wet soil. "Do you only train with Kunai?"

"No," The boy huffed before pausing, "I don't have anyone to teach me anything but Kunai?"

"Oh?" he watched as the boy began his Kata again, the movements a big to aggressive to be productive, "I know your father well enough to know that is a lie."

"My father's a failure," the boy whipped around his gray eyes blazing as he gripped his hands into tight fists, "He caused this war."

"He said the same thing to me when we met for the first time," Orochimaru brought out his sword and lazily started to do his own Kata, "I heard you were a genius, I somehow doubt that."

"Why are you here?"

"Think for a moment," he stuck at an unseen opponent ignoring the others indignation, "how can one man cause a war? For it to be that easy war has to already be on a doorstep, something was going to cause that war it was only a matter of time and when."

"I didn't ask you," the boy was red in the face now, rage coloring his very flesh, "I didn't ask you to come to me and defend my father. He chose his teammates over his village."

"What are his teammates?"

"Excuse me?"

"What are his teammates if not the village? Besides can you really fault a Hatake for protecting his pack?" the leaves fell around them as the wind shook the canopy overhead, his blade slide through them like butter, "If I had such an attachment I would have done the same. Have done the same."

"Then you are just as bad as him! Nothing but trash."

His mother was not a cruel woman.

Orochimaru studied him for a moment, watching as he seemed to be coming undone at his seams, "My name is Orochimaru, feel free to come to me when you realize how dim witted you really are. Right now you are an annoying gnat buzzing endlessly in your fathers ear, when he kills himself it will be your fault and I hope you realize that."

That did not mean he was not a cruel man.

* * *

The bite of bone beneath his blade always made his skin crawl.

He was back on the frontlines, the only of the legendary three left fighting for the village.

A man with red hair stood at his back as they cut through their opponents. Orochimaru let his body fall like liquid, a type of boneless grace he knew his clan was known for, and then he felt pressure at his leg. Glancing down he saw blood, but he couldn't stop, the pain not yet registering, he didn't know how bad it was yet. He sent what little healing chakra he knew how to use to insure it hadn't hit an artery and continued.

Then the pain hit.

He muffled a scream between gritted teeth as he continued, stumbling only for a moment before he slit the throat of a passing enemy. He body shook as he threw a kunai, dropping to one knee unable to even use his leg he panicked. A shinobi came in close and he stuck out quickly aiming for a vital spot when the other ninja blocked it.

It was still, the other ninja watching him their mouth moving but he just couldn't hear them over the rushing of his own blood. He searched for the enemy near blindly and felt his body uncoil as he realized they were the only ones left.

He glanced back at the red haired man his mouth moving, Orochimaru tried to concentrate on what he was saying and finally as the man seemed to repeat himself once more he heard it, "- to let us near to get you to the medics before you bleed out."

"Alright," Orochimaru gasped leaning forward to brace himself on the ground, "alright come help me."

The man smiled and approached slowly before crouching down on his injured side and helping him stand. It was red hot agony coiling down his spine, like the venom of a snake burning you very veins, he body quacked involuntarily. All Ninja have high pain tolerance, a combination of their rough life style and high chakra output. Using chakra in general hurt, it made your Tenketsu stretch and burn so you eventually got used to it. The fact that his body was reacting so strongly meant something was very wrong.

They eventually made it to the medic bay. They couldn't risk giving their best fighter any kind of pain killers because pain killers made you sluggish and your ability to measure and regulate your own chakra output diminished significantly.

They simply couldn't risk being under siege with their best fighter under the influence of medication. They administered some local anesthetic and then started investigating the wound.

"It looks like you have the tip of a kunai wedged in your bone, it has cracked the majority of the bone," the medic said her voice cold and clinical, "do you think you can let us get it out?"

"without pain medication?"

"yes."

"Absolutely not."

"Orochimaru you know we can't risk giving-"

"then spare a nurse to keep me unconscious while you work, if you try to do this while I am awake there is no way that I will not involuntarily attack you."

The woman paused her eyes narrowed before she finally consented with a nod.

That was the last thing Orochimaru saw before he was rendered unconscious.

* * *

 **Notes:**

I'm sorry It has taken so long for me to update, I got in a rough spot in life and am working my way through it. I can't promise that I will be writing more only that I will be trying. I have a lot planned for this story and maybe even a sequel if you guys are interested by the end of this.

Orochimaru is his own character and I don't agree with the way he deals with things but he definitely deals with them. It was highly inappropriate of Orochimaru to say what he said to Kakashi, even if he wasn't a kid blaming someone for something like that isn't the best. This is, of course, my opinion, I just felt like I should address that here.


	6. Crooked Spines

**::**

 **Crooked Spines**

 **::**

Once upon a time, Orochimaru was young, he was wide-eyed and innocent in a way that all children are.

Then his mother died.

It was the first rock placed on a dying man, laid out on his back with a board there to press him down. He remembered standing at her funeral, his heart hammering in his ears. It was there, standing in front of her grave, that the first thoughts of immortality filter through his mind.

Then he was surrounded by death, he dealt in death, he became death itself in the face of his enemies and a mercy for the comrades that needed it. More rocks were added and that part of him died underneath them.

Crushed.

The first time he was the age he was now he decided he would never die. He promised himself he would transcend mortality and become a god.

He stood in a field, the grass brushing his knees, the trees arching above his head blocking out the light of the moon. In one hand was a small white mouse and in the other was a vial of its blood. In the silence, he carefully released the mouse watching it vanish into the grass, quickly he began his new jutsu. With it he was able to track the mouse's location, shadowing it silently testing the range he got with the jutsu until he watched a snake strike it once, its jaws opening as it swallowed it whole in the dark.

Orochimaru was no longer preoccupied with his death. No, he no longer feared to die in the way he used to because he had already seen his own death in the eyes of a Goddess. Orochimaru now feared the death of those he dared to care about more than the death of himself. Not because of sentimentality, because he was not a man of sentiment, no he feared it because then he would be alone.

He would be alone with no one there but himself.

Kabuto died in front of him, his hand outstretched to Orochimaru as the Goddess' hoard of the undead cleaved him in two, tore him limb from limb in a spray of blood and visceral mass. He remembered the pop of bones as they were ripped from Kabuto's body, as he desperately tried to heal himself.

He remembered what it felt like to flee.

Anko died early, he wasn't there to see it, but he remembered hearing about it. She died with the first attack, falling with a blade through her back. He can imagine her blank stare, her mouth open in an indignant scream stubborn and rallying against all odds even in her last breath.

Jiraiya died first and then later Tsunade followed, both at the hands of Pain. They both would have given up, lowering their heads to accept death as an old friend. Neither of them was particularly attached to life, not enough to put up a fight in the face of it truly. Orochimaru used to not be able to relate to this, didn't understand, but after losing everything he realized that death was never the enemy.

One after another each they fell, each adding a new stone to his new crumpled body, the weight nearly unbearable until Naruto came along and started removing each rock slowly. And then he stepped forward, Orochimaru stepped forward and awoke in the past early enough he could change it all.

He could win.

 _He would win._

* * *

"I want one of the members of root." Orochimaru leaned back, watching the Hokage with narrowed eyes.

"I'm sorry?" Hiruzen almost stuttered out surprised.

"You picked a student for me from the graduation class, let me pick up a member of root. I can train them together."

"What brought on wanting to train the next generation? You fought me so hard with the last one."

"This whole situation with root has made me realize how much the next generation needs us. I want to be in control of who I choose but I want to help the next generation," Orochimaru paused searching for something that would make Hiruzen agree, "You always said it was our responsibility to protect and guide those younger than us, I just want to do that on my terms."

Hiruzen paused, stroking his goatee absently as he leaned back in his chair, "Root is a mistake I made a long time ago, reintroducing all of the members back into the fold is going to be difficult. Help me figure out how to help them and I will consider it."

"I can tell you right now what you need to do, you are not stupid you are already aware of what needs to be done. They need extensive mental help with a therapist of some sort, in the meantime, you bring them into ANBU and slowly introduce them to the general populous. You can never admit that there was a root, that there has ever been a root."

"You make it sound so simple."

"It is simple, you are just making it complicated," Orochimaru flattened his hands on his teacher's desk and leaned forward, "again you are not a stupid man."

"Very well Orochimaru, I will let you have your student."

"I already have the boy I want in mind."

* * *

"I heard you talked to Kakashi." Sakumo was laying out on his couch, his body stretched out with one arm over his eyes.

"I don't know what you are talking about." Orochimaru sat on the floor, one leg extended as he honed his blade. That was the thing most people who didn't have a blade didn't realize, most of the time when a blade wasn't cutting as well as it used to it didn't need to be sharpened it needed to be honed. Too much sharpening could harm a blade because when you sharpened you took metal away when you honed you just moved the metal around.

"He said he met a man named Orochimaru, mentioned you said it would be his fault if I died." He continued as if Orochimaru didn't talk at all, "It was the first time he talked to me since this all started."

That's the thing about blades, the more you sharpen them the less integrity they have. A blade with little integrity will break.

"Never met a Kakashi," Orochimaru sighed carefully examining his blade, "but I did meet a dog last week, one with bad manners that I put in his place. You have to be careful with some dogs, they are so very stubborn they don't bother to learn."

"It was cruel of you to discipline the dog the way you did."

"The dog is a shinobi already at an age so young. He needed to know the impact he has on his father."

"It wasn't really your place. Unless," Sakumo began turning to look at Orochimaru before he got up and dropped on his knees in front of the other man, "you want to be a part of the pack."

Orochimaru carefully kept his face still as he sheathed his sword and looked anywhere but at Sakumo. The light of the setting sun haloed the other man as it streamed through the window casting his face in shadow.

"You do don't you," Sakumo grinned reaching forward to catch some of Orochimaru's hair and bring it up to his nose to breathe in his scent, "that is easily done all you have to do is ask."

The thing is that all his life Orochimaru has been sharpened rather than honed, his body shaved away until he was sharp enough to slice through bone, and when he seemed to dull they just sharpened him again.

Over and over again.

"You know as well as I do that I will not ask," Orochimaru responded finally looking at the smiling Sakumo.

"Then it will never happen," Sakumo's smile dimmed a little, shadows encroaching on his expression, "I want you to be a part of this pack, but you have to want it enough to get rid of your pride."

Orochimaru stared at him for a moment before closing his eyes.

"I'm sorry."

Orochimaru wasn't a man of integrity.

It was only a matter of time until he broke. And no one wanted a broken sword.

* * *

Orochimaru stuck out, his palm flat as a spike of chakra slid in between the ribs of the woman before him shredding her heart.

She looked surprised, the dead usually do.

Surprised or scared, he always preferred one over the other.

Her body fell over and Anko stared wide-eyed up at him, Kabuto not far behind her.

"Do not hesitate to attack, you must forget everything you ever know and become something new. You are a shinobi, you are walking death itself, get used to seeing it."

"Yes, Orochimaru." They chorused together Kabuto's little hands hovering outward as if to strike, Anko's pooled inward pressed against her own chest.

They had been a team for a month, and in that month he had taught them as much as he could to ensure they survived. Mostly he taught them how to properly run, how to hide, how to outsmart their enemy and survive. It was the best base that he could offer them. This was a simple courier mission, one that was meant to take the day at most. It was looking like it would take two.

It was the first time Anko had seen death.

At camp that night Orochimaru held her hand while she cried and little Kabuto stared with wide glassy eyes.

They were already falling apart at the seams, Orochimaru wasn't sure he could do this.

"Thank you, Orochimaru," Anko whispered her face pressed into her knees.

"I am your teacher; I will always be there for either of you."

It didn't really matter if he could do it or not, he was going to.

* * *

"Who are these guys!" Sakumo grinned as he stood at the edge of the training ground. The two of his students were working on elemental manipulation, Anko was an earth type and Kabuto was water both good for their chosen fields.

"My students." Orochimaru adjusted the scroll he was reading purposefully ignoring the fact he hadn't invited the other man into the field.

"Honey, why are you being so cold to me."

"Shut up."

"Honey!" Sakumo threw his head back clutching at his heart, "You wound me! My heart can't take it! You're killing me!"

Anko giggled quietly while Kabuto stared blankly his eyes darting between Orochimaru and Sakumo.

"Then die." Orochimaru finally gestured him onto the field rolling his eyes and wandering over to his students.

"This is Anko," he gently patted her head, "and this is Kabuto." He repeated the motion atop kabuto's head. "Anko wants to be a heavy hitter ninjutsu specialist and Kabuto wants to be a battle medic."

It was rare females could be heavy hitters, even rarer they could be ninjutsu specialists. The first time he taught Anko he ignored her wishes and tried to push her into being a midrange fighter. She ended up being a heavy hitter when she got older just like she said she would, just as in the TI department.

He always knew how to be unnerving, psychological warfare was something every ninja should know how to do.

He knew of a few ways to expand her chakra and knew a few jutsu that improved the cognition of the individual so she could easily remember all the jutsu she learned. He couldn't perform the Cognition jutsu, SS class, until she was at least 16, he would prefer her to be 18. That was the ideal age for the brain the be able to bounce back but her personality and sense of self would be ingrained enough that there wouldn't be any real backlash.

Kabuto's wishes for the future was difficult to get out of him; his first response was that he would be anything Orochimaru wanted him to be. Danzo's work was always the best at this age. He hadn't yet started his infiltration specialization save for the basic training. Although basic training for Danzo was intensive for the average ninja, he still was far from the Kabuto Orochimaru knew.

He had come to terms with the fact he would never be the Kabuto he knew. He could only hope he was going to be better.

So finally, after hours of redundant talk and circular logic, Orochimaru managed to puzzle out that kabuto like healing and wanted to be a battle medic.

Like Tsunade.

Orochimaru would teach him everything he knew and get him teachers for things he didn't know, he would make it so he could stand on the same level as Tsunade but on his own terms rather than hers.

He was going to be great.

"Children this is Sakumo Hatake."

"Hello!" Anko smiled brightly at him waving a hand from where she was partially buried in the earth. Kabuto just nodded a somewhat blank smile on his face.

He was improving.

"Just call me Sakumo, I heard Orochimaru here had students and couldn't help but come be nosy."

"I could cut off your nose." Orochimaru snapped his hand hovering over his kunai case.

"Someone is a grumpy-puss" Sakumo swayed back away from the other man.

"Excuse me?"

"Orochimaru is always grumpy," Anko added from where she finally dug herself out of the ground while Kabuto had watched her entire struggle, "It is part of his charm."

"50 laps around Konoha, both of you."

"What!" Anko yelped while Kabuto took off.

"Did I stutter." He widened his eyes slightly staring down at the younger girl.

She sighed and saluted them both before turning to run after Kabuto.

"You didn't have to send them off." Sakumo sighed stretching slightly.

"Something is wrong," Orochimaru responded as he sat back down in front of his tree with his scroll.

"My son has a teacher now," Sakumo rubbed the back of his neck, "I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing."

"It's bad because that teacher isn't you and now you have to rely on some stranger to protect him."

"When you put it like that," Sakumo trailed off sitting down next to Orochimaru their knees touching.

"He will be safe."

"You can't promise that."

He really couldn't promise that anymore. He had already changed so much; he had ruined the timeline in so many ways that it wasn't even funny.

Naruto would be happy.

"All you can do is hope that it's true and train him the best you can when he is home."

"I know," he brushed their shoulders together with a sigh, "it isn't enough."

It never was.

* * *

 **Notes:**

uhuhuh there's something about this chapter I like and something about it I absolutely hate.

I don't know what.

Party.

I'm dyslexic, if I spelled anyone's name wrong please tell me.


	7. Rattling

**::**

 **Rattling**

 **::**

Orochimaru had been a lot in his life. That was the thing about his jutsu, the one he used to steal bodies, his soul had to dominate theirs to be able to take over their body.

He had to consume them.

Like the snake he was, he opened his mouth wide and swallowed them whole. One by one he forced them down his throat. Some would fight it; some would slide right down without any trouble other would kick and scream and struggle, pulling at his skin, stretching it to the point he thought he would burst.

Some of them refused to completely die.

They lived in his stomach whispering to him their life, became a part of him in a way he never thought was possible. Because of them, he knew what it meant to be a daughter, a son, a sister and a mother. He knew what it was like to lose a child and what it meant to be the child lost.

"Where are you going?" Sakumo asked leaning against the doorway the children piled up behind him in the living room talking in hushed voices about jutsu as they sipped at juice.

He knew what it meant to be a lover.

"To take care of some business."

He knew what it meant to be Godless and hurting.

"You will be coming back?"

He knew what it meant to be a father.

"Yes," Orochimaru drew out the word glancing over his shoulder for a moment, "watch the children?"

He knew what it meant to be Orochimaru.

"Of course."

He knew so much and yet with all he knew he knew so little.

* * *

Orochimaru stood at the mouth of the cave, the one with he remembered Pain taking them to make their oaths.

He found the statue.

Carefully he inked the unlocking seal he made years ago when he dreamed of destroying Akatsuki, of ending the threat they posed to him by destroying their precious statue. The seal worked, a second space-time seal sealed away the giant rock in his way with little noise.

"Whose there?" A hoarse voice called out, the emaciated form of Madara Uchiha curled up in a throne made of plants, a white Zetsu turned to stare at him.

Carefully he slapped the final seal, the one that made it so nothing could leave the seal matrix against the ground. These seals were all he had left of Jiraiya, the last things they worked on together before he left the leaf.

The seal spread out, crawling across the floor and up the walls.

And then he moved, he lunged forward pulling out Kusanagi and quickly sliding the sword through Madara's neck severing his head from his shoulders. He then activated his newest jutsu that allowed him to find Hashirama, keeping the DNA sample in one hand and sliding through the hand signs with the other. There were 50 of them in the room, and what felt like thousands in the statue.

Orochimaru did what he could and started sliding through fire jutsu after fire jutsu, dodging and weaving as the Zetsu came after him. He did everything he could to avoid touching them knowing that they could attach spores to him if he wasn't careful. One came at him, its mouth open and eyes wide, doubling itself when Orochimaru slid his sword through his center.

There were so many of them he struggled not to get overwhelmed, with each fire jutsu he used the more molten rock gathered around them. He managed to knock a few of them into the lava, but they quickly figured out what he was doing and danced around it.

He could hear them talking, they had been the entire time, but he just couldn't understand them through the pounding in his head.

He heard a laugh and a burst of pain, looking down he say the hand of black Zetsu through his body.

He turned and cut it down forcing fire chakra through his blade.

He was losing, he was failing, there were so many of them and he was dying.

The ground shook beneath him, his body was failing.

God, Orochimaru was dying.

He was failing, it was over and he had failed everyone. There was nothing left, no way for them to win. He wished he had planned out everything better, wished he had accounted for his death. Wished he had some failsafe, anything at all.

Black Zetsu loomed over him, the only Zetsu he could not track, in his hand was Orochimaru's sword. In one movement he stabbed Orochimaru in the gut, twisting it.

"it was a good try little snake, but this is the end."

Every good story starts with a snake.

In one quick movement, he used the last of his chakra and did the only thing he knew how and summoned the last step of his plan, summoning Jimetsu. The snake knew to follow the plan and would swallow the statue and then devour itself activating the inane jutsu that pulled them into another dimension that no one could access. Once the statue was broken down in his belly, he would return home.

Orochimaru fell to his knees, his vision blurring around the edges, his world tunneling to a point that was just Zetsu's grinning face.

When we die several things happen. Death is a process, there was nothing immediate no sudden switch flipped. It was living, dying, dead. The moment of death ambiguous and strange.

Orochimaru could swear he felt his heart stop.

And then there was light.

* * *

 **Notes:**

Cliffhanger! ;)

I suck at fight scenes and am working on that, sorry that this is so short and not really up to par. This story might be a chapter shorter than I thought it was going to be, we will see when we get to the next chapter. I'm just letting you guys know ahead of time if that changes and the next chapter is the last.

There's a 50 percent chance.


	8. Red Moons

**::**

 **Red Moons**

 **::**

Everyone has a breaking point.

There's a point in everyone's life that they find their limits, Orochimaru had always known his own and knew that he was not the type of person that could push past them. He had never felt specifically moved to try to either.

Instead of pushing past his limits he found a way to move them, change them, make them something different. He changed his body, changed his soul, took his core out and replaced it with something harder.

That was before.

In this time, he was still soft, still malleable, still as pure as a shinobi could be.

He was still a man of flesh and bone where once he was a snake coiled around the still-beating heart of the universe.

He could feel nothing and yet everything all at once, the bead of sweat trickling down his back, the burning of the two wounds skewered through his torso, the numbness creeping in. He was dying yet alive and yet he was dead all over again and there was light.

God, there was a _light._

A burning light dragging in from somewhere he never believed possible, it was a laughing light like sunshine edged with a sharp blade of red malice. He knew this light well, knew it like the back of his hand for he had fought with this light, had stood with it at his back to it, he had fallen under it and bowed his head to it.

"Naruto?" He rasped as he blinked his eyes staring down at his hands. He could hear Zetsu, sense him moving but he couldn't do anything but bask in the light.

And then the burning started as a red cloak bubbled up around him, steaming his wounds and scorching his nearly drained coils refilling them and burning them like molten steel.

It hurt.

Something screeched from the back of his mind, the laughing sunshine and coiling, boiling malice both as one they rolled forward and roared _get up._

So, he did.

He turned and fought again, tearing through the Zetsu in front of him as a red sheen overcame his mind, his body falling apart even as he pushed it forward desperate to follow _his_ last order.

Finally, the last Zetsu fell.

And so did Orochimaru.

* * *

Orochimaru had a dream once when he was still a genin, young and different and so contrived. He dreamed that he was old with Tsunade and Jiraiya by his side. He dreamed they were sitting together on a porch old and retired with crooked fingers and stooped backs. This was before, before they left him, abandoned like nothing.

Left like an old doll they had outgrown.

But he dreamed once upon a time that they would be together forever. Sometimes he wondered why they did it, sometimes he resented them for leaving him, for abandoning him. He wished that someone would take notice of him, to help him, to love him as his teammates seemed to until they turned their back on him. He wouldn't say outright that that was what pushed him to experiment on the children the first time, it wasn't like the actual experiment would be considered a crime really to the village except for clan politics.

He would say it was their fault because his choice is ultimately what let him to where he had once been in life and he was not such a weak man as to blame anyone else for his own decisions.

Orochimaru was tired.

He could feel the movement of something near him, something minty and cool, something with a sadness so deep it clawed at him trying to pull him under along with it.

Tsunade.

He was safe.

"Go back to sleep, I don't know what you did 'Maru but-" Tsunade's voice faded out as his mind stilled again.

He could sleep.

* * *

Fear is irrational.

Orochimaru could feel his heart beating in his chest, could feel the way the burns on his skin pulled, the way his teeth ground together.

Tsunade would never hurt him.

"It's going to scar." Tsunade pressed a cloth to Orochimaru's face, carefully running it over the burns there and further down to the burns on his chest.

"It doesn't matter."

It did.

"We both know how you are about your looks 'Maru." She sighed running some chakra over his burns, "There is only so much that I can do with such corrosive chakra causing the burns. I'm so sorry."

"'Nade, it really is okay."

All's he can remember is red and the acrid smell of his own flesh burning.

"What were you doing with the Kyuubi's charka in that cave?"

Orochimaru stared at the wall for a moment, his heart pounding in his chest.

"Do you believe in time travel?"

"Absolutely not. What does that have to do with anything."

"It possible 'Nade, I remember a whole different future that I just changed."

She was quiet for a moment, just watching Orochimaru. She was calm in a way that Orochimaru hadn't seen since before the war. She was his Tsunade again, she was the woman he had known for years. The strong independent woman that he had always loved, that he would always love.

"You remember? This isn't some forgotten blood limit?"

"God, Tsunade, I almost failed. I don't know what Naruto did, I don't know how he knew I-" Orochimaru drew in a deep breath, "I don't know how he knew what was going to happen or if he had both me and Kakashi tagged with a seal with his and the Kyuubi's chakra but I know I felt him back in that cave."

"Start from the beginning?" She ran her hand through his hair, carefully untangling it.

He felt safe.

"It was bad. Konoha was gone, you were gone, Jiraiya was gone, there was nothing left. She was beautiful, and horrible, causing bile in the back of your throat to build until you choke. We thought we could trick a god," He laughed near hysterically, "and we did. We tricked god. I crawled through the grass until I found our cave, we finished the seal and then She found us." Orochimaru, could feel tears building up in his eyes, he wasn't going to cry, "I stepped into the seal, Tsunade, I betrayed them."

"I'm sure you didn't have any other choice."

"I did, Tsunade, I really did. I could have pushed Naruto into the seal, could have stalled her long enough for one of them to step forward."

"You did it, though didn't you?"

"Did what?"

"You won."

Orochimaru could feel the tears fall down his face, he carefully covered his eyes mindful of his burns.

"I won."

His chest felt like it was going to burst.

 _He won._

* * *

 **Notes:**

uhhhh guys its almost over. One more chapter, and its to wrap up Sakumo's relationship with Orochimaru up.


	9. The Snake

**::**

 **The Snake**

 **::**

Every good story begins with a snake.

When Orochimaru was born he was born into the embrace of a snake as another somewhere else broke out of its shell. He was boneless and screaming, bloody like murder and full of so much potential.

Orochi like the big snake, maru like the boy.

He opened his mouth and his fangs glittered.

His mother taught him to be venomous, taught him to fight and strike, to slither in silence and to coil endlessly around his victims.

Staring at himself in the mirror he wondered where that boy went. His fangs were dull, his eyes were dull, his hair was dull, everything was dull, dull, dull.

It was the first time he had seen himself since the fight. An angry red burn scar stretched up his neck and across his jaw, bright against his pale complexion. He knew under his clothing were more, could feel the way they pulled strangely on his body. Part of him hated them, he had managed to live most of his shinobi life without ever getting majorly scarred, disfigured, brutalized and yet here he was.

Part of him loved the scars because all he could remember was that light supporting him when he was at his lowest, could remember the warmth that permeated throughout his entire body.

It didn't stop the world from being so very dull.

Sakumo smelled like oil and grass, something wild with the sharp edge of a kunai at your back.

"What the hell happened?"

Orochimaru closed his eyes letting his chakra uncoil from its tight control and reached out to Sakumo's static. They immediately tangled together like they always did when it was just them, intermingling to the point Orochimaru wasn't sure where he began and Sakumo ended.

"I told you I had some business to finish."

"You didn't tell me there was going to be fighting."

"You didn't ask."

"I shouldn't have to."

Sakumo turned Orochimaru away from the mirror and gently traced his jaw, they were silent for a moment before Orochimaru broke it.

He always broke the silence first.

"I am leaving." Orochimaru leaned into the other man's hand closing his eyes as he listened to the heartbeat of static in the air.

"What?"

"Come with me?"

"I don't understand what you are talking about."

"This village is rotten." Orochimaru opened his eyes, pressing his hand against the other man's, keeping it in place at his jaw, the sensitive skin of the scar tingling almost painfully, "It has cast me away, cast you away. There is no point in remaining here."

"You were cleaning it up, weren't you? Don't think I don't know what you've done about Danzo, don't think I don't know how much you love the leaf."

"Love isn't enough to keep me here."

"Not even my love?"

Orochimaru's eyes narrowed, he stepped forward wrapping his arms around Sakumo's shoulders. "Come with me, we don't need this village. It hates us. It scorns us in a way that hurts far more than any attack, it burns us." Orochimaru pressed their foreheads together, closing his eyes, "I am so very tired of all of this, Sakumo. Runaway with me?"

"Orochimaru-"

"You know what you mean to me-."

"Please, don't say it."

Orochimaru opened his eyes, staring into the tear-filled eyes of the man before him.

"I love you."

"Orochimaru, I can't."

"You can."

Sakumo jerked slightly, moving in one quick movement to burry his face against Orochimaru's shoulder, "Please, don't leave me."

"Come with me," Orochimaru whispered.

"I can't." Sakumo sobbed, his body shuttering as he gripped at Orochimaru.

They stood there for what felt like hours, Orochimaru gazing blankly at the wall behind them as he counted the shuttering breaths of the man in his arms.

He was numb.

"Don't make me beg for you Sakumo."

"Orochimaru, stay. Please, for me?" Sakumo sounded near desperate, frantic.

"Is that your final answer?"

"Orochimaru, please." Sakumo pulled back, tears streaming down his face.

"I am taking Anko and Kabuto."

"Orochimaru, please." Orochimaru stepped back, pulling away from the man he loved.

"Goodbye, Sakumo."

Orochimaru turned and walked away with his head high but his hands, his hands trembled and a part of him broke.

* * *

They say love is the most important emotion a human can ever experience. They say it permeates throughout your life, sinking its claws into you in a way you never dreamed of, changing you.

Orochimaru has always loved strongly, it is just now he is finally admitting it.

"Did we have to leave?" Anko whispered into the dark, her hands tangled in Orochimaru's hair.

"There was nothing left for us there," Kabuto responded from the trees above them, his eyes gleaming dangerously like a particularly clever big cat.

Orochimaru stared up at the starry sky, "Kabuto is right. We are free now."

"Free?" Anko blinked blankly.

"Yes," Orochimaru smiled down at her, smoothing away her tears before kissing her forehead, "Free."

He was the pale snake with golden eyes, he's fangs glittered again no longer dull.

He as lucky, he was a rebirth.

He was free.

* * *

 **Notes:**

huhuhuhu

its sad but like I have a plan I promise.

If you guys are interested in another story, a sequel, where basically Orochimaru lives his life as a rogue ninja and stuff happens with his baby ninja I would be game to write it. I have a vague idea of what I would want to do and there would be a bigger resolution to Sakumo and Orochimaru's relationship involved with it.

So comment if your interested and I will start on planning and then writing for it.

here is a playlist that I made for this story: playlist/21VA3NwUJlLEy4cgZLX9MB?si=MocowM2uRDie29sE1rHWfQ

I have an OC naruto story I wrote in my other style that is about root called Kintsugi Children. here is the playlist for that one, if you are interested in reading it go and read it! playlist/0rytHNh2Q5OmH54xp6qdZr?si=FT6k9zBUR3Siuq-1NxBH9w

Thank you so much for reading, this is one of my favorite stories I have written and I have really enjoyed it.

-edit 112319-

I will do a sequel! Thank you for all your support!

If anyone one is interested in being a beta or a sounding board or something contact me on my tumblr right now there are only poems on it but I plan to put world building stuff in it like maps of villages and of the naruto world so you can better understand how I imagine naruto and how it can be seen in my stories.


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